Activate! Week two

I wish I could report that my Bible study had gone as well this week as it went last week. Last week I was very excited and extremely motivated. This week started out that way, but towards the end of the week I had a few struggles. I had to be at the hospital at 6am one day this week, which is a good bit earlier than my usual 730am. What I have been doing is getting up and doing my bible study and quiet time from 530am-6am, then getting ready for work. When my schedule changed for that day it threw everything off. I decided to take a shower the night before that way it would give me more time in the morning. I went to bed early and set my alarm for 5:00am. Then I laid there and laid there and laid there. I tried to shut my mind off and stop thinking about stuff. I played my progressive muscle relaxation mp3 which usually is the perfect antidote for my insomnia. Embarrassingly enough, I even tried counting sheep. Nothing seemed to work. I'm not sure what time I finally dozed off, but when my alarm clock went off at 5:00am, I wanted to hide my head under the covers and pretend that I didn't have to go in.

As I have mentioned before, each night before I go to bed I lay out my Bible and my Activate! book on the dining room table so I am ready to go when I get up. I think this helps me stay focused on the task at hand. So after turning off my alarm clock, I throw the covers back to get jolted by the freezing degrees in the house. So now I haven't had nearly enough sleep and I am so cold that all I can think is how much I hate Ohio and its weather. Poor pitiful me. Here is where the poor decision making comes in. As I go into the dining room I think, I would be so much more comfortable and warm if I just did this morning's study in bed, under the warm covers.........right. I was obviously thinking very clearly. I grab my study material off the dining room table and pad back into the bedroom right back under the covers. I settle back under the covers and flip through the book to remind myself what I learned the day before and to evaluation how I applied that lesson during the day yesterday. Next on the schedule is to pray and ask God to open my heart and let the scripture speak to me as I read. I close my eyes to start my prayer and all I could think about what how warm it was in that bed. Then another thought hits me. The challenge with this Activate! class is to have quiet study time with God 5 out of 7 days. In my fuzzy thoughts I thought this was a stroke of genius. Why hadn't I thought of this last night? I can skip today's study as long as I get up and do it on Saturday. So, I reset my alarm clock and went right back to sleep with my Bible and Activate! book in the bed with me.

This is where everything went wrong. I had the worst day! Everything I touched broke. Every patient I saw was grumpy. I thought God was punishing me for not doing my Bible study that morning. Throughout the day I tried to pray and recenter myself. I was asking God why getting up was so hard that morning and why my day was going so terrible. During the day God revealed 2 things to me. The first was when I was struggling about why it was so hard for me to get up and complete the Bible study like I normally would. As I was praying and meditating, I asked, "Why didn't you help me this morning when I needed it?" God very plainly spoke to my heart and said, "You didn't ask." This took me back a step and I recalled back to the morning and what all had happened and I realized, that not one time when I was struggling to get up this morning or making the decision to do my Bible study in bed did I ask God to help me get up and stay awake. All I did was focus on the reasons that I should be able to go back to bed. The second thing he said to me is what are you applying today. What concept are you thinking about and how are you using that concept to be a better Christian today. I realized that I wasn't doing anything to strengthen my Christianity or to be a light to other people that day. I was so focused on how everything was going wrong for me that I forgot to think about all the things that were great. I lived for another day. I had great friends and family to be thankful for. I can see, taste, smell, hear which are things that some of my patients can't do. I had to stop and just thank God for all the things that were great in my life.

Good reminders this week.

1. We can't blame God for not giving us what we need when we do not ask for it. It doesn't matter how small you think the need is, you can still ask God to help you.

2. Do not take anything for granted. We are blessed a thousand times over compared to the majority of the population yet we find less joy in the little things.

3. What are we doing everyday of our lives to be different, to show people we are different and to draw closer to Christ. When you are applying lessons or sermons or scripture to your life it not only impacts others but it impacts you and your perceptions.